Approaching Easter: ritual, language and faith

I don’t often discuss religion on social media, though sometimes when holidays come around, I feel more of a compulsion to share my feelings with the small circle of the world outside which actually sees my small drop in the ocean.

William Holman Hunt, Jesus Washing Peter’s Feet. Although I don’t believe Jesus was a ginger, I love this depiction of him as a strong, intense young man. 

I unabashadly love Christmas — it’s early traditions and it’s pre-Christian beginnings. I love the sense of holiness and wonder. I especially love the carols. I feel guilty that I cannot summon up equal enthusiasm for Easter, which is ironic. For without the resurrection, there would be no point in celebrating the birth of Jesus.

I think part of it is that there is ritual in Christmas, and there isn’t in Easter. Let me explain that statement. I’m a Mormon, and there’s precious little ritual in anything we do. Sometimes that makes me sad.

Ritual helps. It makes a difference. Again, at Christmas time, I love lighting the advent candles every Sunday, as I sing a song I learned from my friends in New York: “Advent Advent, the candles burn. First one then two then three then four, then stands the Christ-child at your door.” I have been lighting advent candles since a child, but I’ve realised in recent years,  that to other Christians, that is just part of celebrating advent.

One of my niece with the advent wreath, Dec. 2017

I hope I cause no offence when I confess that I have adopted certain rituals from other religions which have served to enrich mine, and have helped sustain my faith. In one of the Mormon books of scripture, called The Doctrine and Covenants, there is a verse which states, “And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:118) I am confident that doesn’t just apply to the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I’ve come to realise lately that sometimes I am more spiritually fed by a passage in a novel than by a scripture. Again, I don’t think that is a bad thing. We are all vastly different, and God knows that different vehicles touch hearts in different ways.

Madeleine L’Engle, in ‘Walking on Water’ expresses this idea perfectly: “I don’t mean to water down my Christianity into a vague kind of universalism, with Buddha and Mohammed all being more or less equal to Jesus — not at all! But neither do I want to tell God (or my friends) where he can and cannot be seen.”

If I can learn, from Madeleine L’Engle, or Dorothy L Sayers, that to question and doubt is a beautiful part of my faith (indeed, faith by definition is not knowing), then surely that is a cause for rejoicing.

Today is Maundy Thursday. I don’t know much about how other Christians celebrate it, as Mormons don’t. But I was having a hard morning, and missing my dad who died a little over five years ago. From what I understand, it celebrates the last Passover feast which Jesus had with his disciples, and often involves washing of feet. As it so happened, my three-year-old niece devised a game with a small bowl of water and paper towels and she began washing my feet. I somehow feel that this was not a coincidence.

In the Passover Haggadah, my favourite part is the Dayenu — when each miracle that the Children of Israel were  blessed with when Moses freed them from the Egyptians is listed separately, followed by the word Dayenu: it would have been enough.

I am not doubting my religion. I love it, and the example and life of Joseph Smith the prophet is a constant source of joy to me. It gain much knowledge and strength from my brothers and sisters in the gospel, and from attending church. But I can honestly admit that there are elements of the church today which vex and trouble me. Therefore, lighting candles, singing songs, learning about myself and my God in new words is a blessing to me. None of us is perfect. My life is certainly not as I expected it would be growing up. I can admit my disappointments and surprises, and also the many joys I have experienced and am continually experiencing, and say, with a full heart, Dayenu.